STRONG WOMEN, STRONG LOVE helps busy, ambitious women struggling in their marriage get the love and passion back, using a powerful, straightforward approach grounded in relationship science, not fluff and nonsense.
Hello, I’m Dr. Poonam Sharma. As a psychologist practicing for over 20 years now, I’m tired of watching strong, capable women like you struggling with one of the most important relationships of your life. At Strong Women, Strong Love, my goal is to share the most powerful moves you can make to get the love and passion back in your marriage.
I know how incredibly busy you are, so I’m sharing what relationship professionals know about creating the happy marriage your desire. I have been trained by some of the leading marriage experts in the world, like Drs. John Gottman, Sue Johnson, and Harville Hendrix. I’ve always been passionate about making the rich information and tools of my profession accessible to anyone interested in improving their marriage. This was the motivation behind writing my award-winning book, Strong Women, Strong Love: The Missing Manual for the Modern Marriage.
I really want you to have a relationship where you feel cherished, appreciated and fully supported by your husband. Let me show you how!
I’ll be upfront with you: One of the best gifts you can give yourself and your husband this time of year is being direct.
Kind directness keeps the lines of communication open in your marriage. It keeps resentments from taking root. It helps make sure you’re both operating from the same set of expectations.
Yet being direct is hard for many women. Why is that? Why are we so uncomfortable asking for what we need or telling others what’s going on with us?
A lot of it has to do with how women have been raised in our culture. You may have been taught to anticipate everyone else’s needs — your husband’s, your kids’, your boss’s. And I bet you’re very good at it. You probably know the subtle signs that your husband is ready to leave a party, or that your daughter could use some extra encouragement before her semester exams.read more
This time of year, you’ll see plenty of articles about how to have the happiest holiday season ever. You’ll find no shortage of advice on how to deck your halls, craft handmade gifts, start beloved traditions and dazzle at parties.
That’s all well and good, but I want to make things much simpler for you. Today I’m going to share with you one tip that could make this the least stressful holiday season you’ve ever had. It’s free. It doesn’t require crafting or cooking skills. It works no matter which holidays you observe. And it doesn’t have an expiration date. In fact, I hope you use it well after the last New Year’s celebrations have wrapped up.
What’s my magical tip?
When people get on your nerves, assume that they’re not doing it on purpose.
Trust me, you’ll have plenty of opportunities to try out this mental shift in the coming weeks. What if you stopped assuming things like this?read more
I’m a big fan of psychiatrist Daniel Siegel. You may remember a past blog post where I shared some of Siegel’s advice about what to do when you “flip your lid.”
Today, I want to talk about another strategy from Siegel. You may have heard of his Connect and Redirect method in the context of parenting. But the ideas behind it can strengthen your marriage (or any other relationship, for that matter).
The key thing to remember about Connect and Redirect is that any interaction will be more fruitful and satisfying if you take a moment to establish emotional connection before launching into what you need.
In our marriages, though, we often forget this step. Because we’re all so busy, it seems easier just to “cut to the chase.” We also tend to take those we’re closest to for granted and be much more abrupt and less tactful with them than we are with other people.
But taking that extra moment to build connection pays off. It helps your spouse get into the mental space where he can truly hear what you’re saying and engage with you.read more