by Strong Women Strong Love | May 21, 2014 | Passionate Partnership, Persistent Pressures, Understanding Men |
Have you ever caught yourself saying, “My husband doesn’t appreciate me”? The desire for appreciation and validation is a natural one. We all want a relationship that makes us feel good about ourselves.
Research has shown that an atmosphere of warmth and appreciation is vital to the health of a marriage. Renowned marriage researcher Dr. John Gottman found that couples in long, happy marriages make a habit of noticing the positives. In fact, they typically make about 20 positive statements for every negative one during everyday conversations with their spouse. And even during times of conflict, that ratio of positive to negative is about five to one!
With appreciation being so important, you’re justified in complaining about your husband’s lack of it, right? Well, it’s natural to want appreciation, but waiting for your husband to get the ball rolling is likely to result in continued frustration. He probably doesn’t realize you’re feeling unappreciated. He may not fully grasp everything you do for the family or even why some of it is necessary.
As a woman, your focus may be on maintaining high standards for your home, parenting, and appearance because women are judged more harshly than men in these realms. Since the success and worth of a man is measured differently, your husband may be puzzled by why you’re working so hard and tell you, “Just don’t do it!” if you complain about exhaustion.
Rather than waiting for your husband to notice your contributions, a better strategy is to start showing more appreciation yourself, which will lead your husband to reciprocate. Since men are under pressure to be strong, capable, and confident, genuinely acknowledging these particular qualities may be especially meaningful. I get that this might feel unfair, but I urge you to try it out for a few days as an experiment. You may be surprised to find out that your husband has been feeling some of the same hunger for appreciation as you.
It’s common for husbands and wives to start to take each other for granted. But being deliberate about kindness and appreciation can protect your relationship from stagnation and resentment. Every day this week, make it a goal to notice three positive things about your partner and compliment him on them. Stick with this marriage-boosting habit, and you’ll notice the mood starting to change in your relationship.
by Strong Women Strong Love | May 20, 2014 | In the News |
Congratulations! It is our great pleasure to inform you that you are a Winner in the Marriage category for the 2014 National Indie Excellence Awards. Your book, Strong Women, Strong Love: The Missing Manual for the Modern Marriage truly embodies the excellence that this award was created to celebrate, and we salute you and your fine work.
The lists of winners and finalists will be highlighted on our website. Please go to www.indieexcellence.com to see your name and book cover among those of the other proud winners and finalists.
The entire team at the National Indie Excellence Awards sincerely hopes your participation in our contest will serve you well in creating the success your book deserves. You have our sincerest congratulations.
Warmly,
Ellen Reid
President & CEO
National Indie Excellence Awards
www.indieexcellence.com
ellen@indieexcellence.com
by Strong Women Strong Love | May 15, 2014 | Events |
You are invited to attend a complimentary teleseminar! See details below.
Strong women:
- Is your marriage struggling?
- Are you not sure what to do about it?
- Are you afraid you may end up divorced if things don’t change?
The divorce rate has hovered around 50% for a while, and most divorces are now initiated by women. Those who divorce typically remarry, but divorce rates for subsequent marriages are even higher. Why is that? Are women just marrying the wrong guy over and over?
Licensed psychologist, Dr. Poonam Sharma, is the author of the Amazon bestseller, Strong Women, Strong Love: The Missing Manual for the Modern Marriage. In her book, she explains why strong, successful women struggle inside their marriages and what professionals know about making a marriage work.
In this free teleseminar, Dr. Sharma reveals three critical mistakes you may be unintentionally making that could be undermining your marriage. Register to learn some practical, straightforward strategies you can immediately implement to get your relationship moving in a more positive direction.
When? Friday, May 30, 2014 from 1:30 to 2:30 PM, Central Standard Time
PLEASE REGISTER AT: http://bit.ly/1nNzjK2.
What is a teleseminar? A teleseminar is a seminar conducted over the telephone through a teleconferencing bridge line. You simply call into a phone number at the time of the seminar, enter your access code, and you are connected! All this from the convenience of your home or office and with no travel time.
Can’t make it at the seminar time? If you cannot attend the teleseminar, don’t worry. Go ahead and register, and you will receive a link to the replay recording after the event ends.
Free report with subscription. With your registration, you will receive an invitation to join the Strong Women, Strong Love mailing list. Confirm your subscription, and you will immediately gain free access to an exclusive report: “10 Easy Ways to Get Him to Listen.” Don’t worry, your privacy is important to us. We never sell your information to anyone, ever.
by Strong Women Strong Love | May 5, 2014 | Persistent Pressures, Personal Power |
Many women dream all their lives of motherhood. And there’s no doubt about it, the bond with your child is one of the strongest you will have with anyone. But along with the joys of children come additional pressures that can make life more intense and stressful.
According to research, marital satisfaction takes its biggest nosedive after the birth of the first child. That’s mostly because couples have so little time to spend with each other because they are so busy juggling other competing demands such as work pressures, kids’ activities, and housework.
It’s so easy to lose yourself to motherhood — to become disconnected from yourself and your other passions. When time and help are limited, you are often choosing between your own needs and that of your husband and kids. Making sure your needs are somewhere in the mix is vital — even when it’s hard. Otherwise, both your well-being and your marriage are at risk.
Here are three ideas for taking care of both:
1. Slow down the pace in your household to one that feels more sane. Limit kids’ outside activities. What your children need most is to be seen and understood by you, not a constant flurry of classes, team practices or club meetings.
2. Take time just for you. At first, that may simply be the luxury of showering without someone knocking on the bathroom door! Eventually move toward regular time dedicated to yourself. Yes, your spouse will need to step up to help you take this time, but you can certainly return the favor.
3. Make regular time with your husband. A happy marriage protects the health of everyone in the household, so carve out some time to enjoy with your husband.
Taking care of yourself makes you a better mom and wife. Make sure it’s part of your Mother’s Day celebration!
by Strong Women Strong Love | Apr 21, 2014 | Excerpts from Strong Women Strong Love, Principal Priorities, Quotes |
A marriage does not remain healthy and survive hardship by chance. Instead, such longevity is the result of thousands of decisions to move toward your partner, rather than away, especially when things are tough.
~Poonam Sharma, PhD
