An excerpt from Strong Women, Strong Love:

Studies across cultures identify kindness as one of the top qualities people seek in a partner.  Kindness, sincerity, and warmth are essential to helping you and your partner open up to one another.  Treat yourself with kindness, as if you were your own best friend.  Welcome interactions with gentleness, remembering the power you have to crush a person’s spirit, even your own.  We all want to feel treasured by the ones we love, so cherish your partner and let him know how much he means to you.  A gentle, tender, compassionate stance in relating to your partner does wonders for nurturing authenticity because you are making it safe for both of you to be yourselves.